"A series of unfavorable events has ended. I was stricken with a most vile curse, onset while dining on wretched supermarket cupcakes with my dearest sisters. Thence I fell among many upsetting or misfortunate occurrences, some light as a pound of feathers, some heavy as a pound of lead. Nay, a pound of uranium! Upon reviewing these many injuries to my being I found my attention drawn not to the most severe, but the earliest. The cupcake! Oh, how vile. Cake like cellulite, icing like Elmer's g … – show"
