"After the closure of the previous Arby 's I thought perhaps the end of days was upon us. I heard that there was to be a second, more glorious restaurant to be in construction. Arbys whispered to me as if from a voice familiar yet too subtle to be made clear, the words of a forgotten DMB song c.1996 Who 's got their claws in you my friend? Into your heart I 'll beat again I waited patiently for construction to finish with my mouth watering and more perspiration accumulating on my upper lip with each passing day. Once the doors were open my mission was simple: obtain a Beef and Cheddar Classic and return home to Kathleen Quinlan safe before sundown. As I drive my maroon motion machine through to the house that beef built, my folly was quickly assured when the voice of an angel with wings charred like brisket came over the intercom to inform me I could have 2 of my Beef and Cheddar Classics, the only fuel driving my life forward, for the price of only $6. Completely enamored, I sat in awe wondering how such a quality of blessing had been bestowed upon me. I thought perhaps Am I the lucky one? This thought plagues my soul. I know not if I am worthy of Arby 's grace, but I will continue to stand humbly in their gaze until the day they choose an acolyte more fit to be served daily. I dunno- Arby 's is pretty cool."
