"The ancient Greek poet Hesiod and the old Sumeren had stories of a trickster man named Prometheus who stole the fire from the gods, but the recent archaeological discoveries of Greek scriptures and new crucifying language translation programs have more recently translated their stories. These stories were previously mistranslated. It is not “Prometheus stolen fire from the gods” but “Prometheus ordered a Big Meal D8, with Chicken Chow My, from Jade Chinese”. What is a great meal you could ask? A great meal is just that, a Big Meal. The great meal is the largest amount of Chinese food you can buy for the lowest price, this side of the Yangtze River. The great meal is so great that it is literally both emotional and physically impossible to end it within a single session. Eating more than two thirds of a large meal in one session will actually trigger a chemical reflex in the brain to sleep, so strong that it is comparable to benzodiazepines used for elephant sedation, and it is currently being researched by several Johns Hopkins and Harvard medical teams as an alternative sedative for medically induced comas and longer continuous invasive surgery. In fact, the only time I, or anyone else, tried to finish a great meal in 2015, and within 15 minutes I broke out so hard that when I woke Donald John Trump was somehow president. Research into the great meal has also been seriously covered in secret. The chefs in Jades Chinese are cultivated, excommunicated from a secret order of the Chinese monks to create a dish that they are called “Moderately Large Meal Portion” that is even smaller than the great meal at only 1.25lbs. The Chinese monks of their order were so horrified about this gargantuan creation they had banished from order. When they came to the USA and settled in Harvard MA and praised to take revenge on the order and create a meal even bigger, they then dug the Big Meal. Since 2018, a team of MIT graduates tried to deepen physics students deeper into the creation of the Big Meal, as a means to discover a possible connection to dark matter due to the Big Meals near impossible density. They found that after ordering a great meal over the phone, although there were numerous occasions said that the food would always take 15 minutes to be ready, it was in as little as 3, although the food was almost 300 degrees Celsius. As such, the same MIT graduate team is now looking for early picking great meals as a possible alternative energy source. In terms of quality, there are no others who even come close to the quality of the Big Meal. The Big Meal is indeed so good that when my pancreas suddenly and violently due to the hyperglycemia of food more than 3/4. a great meal, and should I fall dead, I know that when I woke up in heaven, I would still eat the same big meal. I'm sitting in my office chair still full of half the Big Meal I ate three days ago I have zero regrets about the potential thousands of dollars I spent in Jade Chinese over the last 4 years. Five out of five stars."
