"I discovered Freebirds in the early '90 's, years before they came to Austin, and I was hooked. I 'm pretty sure they 're the only reason I survived college. When they finally opened up in Austin, I was over the moon, and the Hancock restaurant became my favorite. But then they did away with the taxes-included-in-prices bit (thanks, Oklahoma). And they stopped with the punch-cards that could net you a free t-shirt. Prices kept going up, and quality fell behind as they started adding way too many options to the menu and trying to be less weird and more fancy. And finally they did away with my beloved wheat tortilla. It came back briefly, but the reprieve didn 't last long, and my burrito 's just not the same without it. To completely ruin my life, though, they started forcing guacamole on those of us who don 't want meat in our burritos. I was feeling nostalgic and decided I could deal with their inferior tortilla options just this once, and I made the mistake of ordering the same burrito I 'd been ordering for 30 years; only this time I didn 't want to leave the sofa. To my horror, every inch of my once favorite burrito was contaminated with green mush (aka guacamole). According to the delivery app, menus are provided by the stores, and this menu said nothing about ruining everything with guacamole. Fortunately, the delivery app people have me a full refund, but no amount of therapy is going to wipe the trauma of biting into a mush-filled tortilla. We had some good years, Freebirds, but I 'm afraid I 'm gonna have to file for divorce. I hardly recognize you anymore, and I just can 't handle your betrayal."
